A Letter to McGonagall
by P.E.E.V.S.Y
Summary: MWPP oneshot. James and Sirius get themselves into a mess and write to McGonagall as a last resort to get themselves out of detention. should be better than summery.


**STORY: A Letter to McGonagall**

**by: P.E.E.V.S.Y.**

**beta: PaperWieght **

**KEY:**

_**Corrections made by Remus John Lupin**_

_--Things crossed out by Remus John Lupin—_

**Story:**

'Dear Professor McGonagall,

This afternoon, you discovered Sirius and I standing in a hallway covered in icky goo along with several other students. With further exploration, you discovered that this goo was made out of a mixture of grapes, vegetable oil, prunes, beans, chocolate syrup, salami, salmon, milk, raisins, bananas, Hawaiian punch, pumpkin juice, cream puffs, toast, cream cheese, chips (sour cream 'n onion), pickles, pickle juice, yogurt, mayonnaise, tartar sauce, cookies, cereal, tomato juice and chicken noodle soup.

You immediately came to the conclusion that Sirius and I had done it. As a result, both Sirius and I both _--got a whole bunch of--_ **_received a _****_week's_** **_worth of_** detention and Gryffindor lost 20 house points. Now, while I'm not denying my _--erm...--_ involvement, I would like to _--point out--** discuss**_ two very important things.

1. The unfairness of the _--fastlyness--** quickness**_ that you came to the conclusion that Sirius and I are responsible.

2. How this whole mess came to be and why Sirius and I are notresponsible.

Now, to begin with point _--A.--** 1**_. It is unfair thatyou gave _--me and Sirius--** Sirius and I **_the detention and took off the house points _--to the third degree, power, whatever! It was really unfair-- _You had no proof. _--So HA! We win, you lose!--_ Now, moving on to the _--more important and pressing point--_ **_next point_**, point number two!

This whole mess began when Sirius decided that he was hungry and had to eat immediately. He whined constantly about it until he forced me to skip History of Magic with **_Professor_** Binns and sneak into the kitchens with him. Once there, (we found the kitchens just by luck of course) we discovered, to our astonishment, that there were no _--bloody--_ house-elves there!

I told Sirius that we ought to leave but he insisted that we stay. After several argumentative retorts,I suggested that we should look in the food storage room and see what they had. After a good amount of poking about, we had found pretty much all the food we wanted. Right now is probably a satisfactory time to tell you that neither Sirius nor I have ever cooked in our whole entire lives. Now that I think about it, there's probably a pretty good reason for it.

So, after a while longer, we thought we'd managed to separate everything into their correct food groups. Sirius mentioned how his cousin, Andromedia, had mentioned something about the eight basic food groups while cooking. Sirius thought this could be crucial to cooking --_somehow--_. At that point in time, Sirius pointed to an _--applickanced, thing a ma bobber-- **blender**_ that he'd seen muggles using to make smoothies. Sirius told me he really wanted a smoothie. So, I decided that nothing too terrible could happen, so I told Sirius to go ahead.

I instructed Sirius to gather all the food he liked and put it in the _--applickanced thingy--** blender**_. I think he emptied out the 'Yummy, Solid Food' section of the food pyramid. Then, I remember thinking that most smoothies were in between solid and liquid, so I figured he should probably add some liquid things. Sirius thought that made sense, so he went over to the 'Yummy Liquid-like Things' section and grabbed some of the things he liked, such as chocolate syrup, Hawaiian punch, chicken noodle soup and tartar sauce.

Then, Sirius and I blended it all together. It was very messy. We had to cover the huge hole on top with our hands so it wouldn't get it all over the place. Anyway, just as we were about done with the smoothie, a bunch of house-elves came in and started freaking out _--for some weird reason. I don't know why.—_Then, they kicked us out of the kitchen. We did have time, however, to _--steal--** borrow**_ some more liquids because the smoothie just didn't look right.

So, carrying our _--applickanced thing a ma bobber-- **blender**_, we went to the hallway. We added the ingredients again and started to mix it all up. Unfortunately, Sirius and I forgot to cover the hole with our hands and the smoothie got all over the place.

So, as you can see, it really wasn't our fault. If _--the house elves had been there, there had been more food for breakfast, History of Magic wasn't so boring, Binns wasn't so boring and the applickance thingy wasn't so messy--_none of this would have happened.

Yours Sincerely,

James Potter

P.S. Would you please take away our detentions, as it obviously wasn't our fault? Besides, the smoothie didn't even taste good. For that matter, it was horrible.'

Professor Minerva McGonagall read the letter for the fifth time, looking at it in utter amazement. She had always known James Potter didn't like detentions and loved making up crazy stories, but this took the cake.

Professor McGonagall wasn't really sure what to do. She was used to the tall tales. She normally just doubled whatever punishment the letter writer had been given originally. This was different, though; this was just so exceedingly out there She was actually wondering whether the events described in the letter actually occurred .

Professor McGonagall shook her head. What was she thinking? Of course it wasn't true! Besides, even if it was, it was obviously Potter and Black's fault. Professor McGonagall looked at the letter once more and noticed Remus Lupin's neat, even handwriting between James Potter's messy scrawl. Apparently Lupin had proofread the letter for Potter.

Professor McGonagall read it yet again and then let out a shout of laughter. Why not take away their detentions? It wouldn't be so terrible to be freed of supervising them. At that moment, in the hall outside her office, James Potter and Sirius Black exchanged an ecstatic high-five.

Mischief Managed

a/n: Hey.thanks for reading, thanks to PaperWeight, and thanks to my friends for reading through it to make sure it wasn't absolutely terrible. Anyway, readers of Operations: Groups Five, I will update my next chapter asap, but, after that i'll take a break, due to the nightmarish state of my life and stick to crazy pointless oneshots like this. Anyway, whoever you are review! I'd apprecate it, even if it's just to say 'YOU STINK! YOU SHOULD DIG YOURSELF A HOLE AND BURY YOURSELF IN IT!' I'll accept that and reply and say something nice to you. so, please, just review!

-p.e.e.v.s.y.


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